Reflective Discourse

During that period of time, I kept to myself a lot and refused to talk to anyone about what I was going through. Then one day, I found myself having suicidal thoughts. I wanted Irvin to pay attention to me and I wanted him to be sorry for what he did and to me and that seems like a good way of getting back at him.

On a particular saturday afternoon, I went to his place to look for him but as expected, I did not managed to meet him. I did not know what to do and I soon found myself at the highest level of his block. At that moment, I was so close to committing suicide. While I was standing there, I received a phone call frm a colleague. She called to ask me something about work and was definitely shocked to find me sobbing over the phone. She sensed that something was wrong with me and hence, offered to come over to where I was to meet me.

That afternoon, I realised I was not the only one going through all that I was going through. My colleague came to pick me up from where I was and we spent the rest of the day sharing about what I was going through and to my surprise, she had very similar experience sixteen years ago. In the context of Transformation Theory, I had a specialised use of dialogue devoted to searching for a common understanding and assessment of the justification of an interpretation or belief (Mezirow, 2000).

That sharing session made me realised tha the transformation is not only shared amonst myself but many others have negoitiated similar changes and have managed to go through it victoriously. Hence, with a clearer understanding of the shared experience from my colleague, I may be at a better position to make any judgement.