Experiencing a Disorienting Dilemma

On the 30th October 2008, I experienced what I felt was a disorienting dilemma, where a disorienting dilemma is defined to be triggered by a life crisis or major life transition, although it may also result from an accumulation of transformations in meaning schemes over a period of time (Mezirow, 1995, p. 50). I received a phone call from Irvin and he wanted to break up with me over that phone call. That was one month after we collected the appointment letter for our apartment. He said he was tired and did not want to carry on the relationship. In fact, he claimed to have stopped loving me three months before. He refused to meet me or answer my calls and from that day on, I never heard from him. I was lost and my world seemed to have collapsed.

For a period of time, I went through a period of self-examination. I felt that I was not good enough for him and hence, he made that decision. Soon after, I realised those were purely based on my own assumptions because I found out from his friends that he was seeing someone else. I was filled with emotions such as anger and disappointment. I went through a critical assessment of internalised assumptions and suddenly felt very lost. My life was supposed to be like any other and I was supposed to live happily ever after but at that point in time, I felt alienated from all these social norms.